We may or may not be the only intelligent species in the galaxy, but if we weren’t, the odds are astronomical (hah) against us ever finding out about them, or them about us. The distances involved in interstellar travel are far too vast, the times required too long – given our understanding of the universe at the present, it’s just not possible, not in any practical way. Faster-than-light travel is the stuff of science fiction – trust me, I’ve written enough of it – and science fiction is unrestrained by actual science, as evidenced by the breathtaking abandon with which we just make stuff up. I’ve written some stuff that I know for a fact would make an actual cosmologist or physicist burst out laughing, and to explain that I can only reference that old fiction writer’s tool, the Plot Device.
But that isn’t stopping the federal government from releasing a trove of supposed UFO images and video. Let me hazard a guess about this upcoming doc dump: It will be the biggest nothingburger that ever nothingburgered.
The federal government holds shocking evidence of UFOs which proves we are not alone — including satellite imagery of out-of-this world craft that look like nothing “we have built,” an expert with knowledge of the documents told The Post.
The government’s trove of UFO docs is massive and includes stunning photos and videos, according to Christopher Mellon, the former deputy assistant secretary of defense intelligence during the Clinton and Bush administrations.
Publicly disclosing the information would take UFO discourse “to another level,” he added.
I’m guessing that the photos and video will be along the lines of this:
Quick, someone grab the Slim Whitman albums! pic.twitter.com/gagSuEPfCm
— Ward Clark (@TheGreatLander) March 14, 2026
Sure, that could be a UFO. It could be a fly on the radar screen. It could be a Baby Ruth bar. But an actual alien spacecraft? Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence; this ain’t it.
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Whatever is revealed in any upcoming UFO info release won’t be that much of a much. It won’t be any unambiguous proof of aliens. Here’s why, and I’m going to tell you. Any intelligence that is sufficiently mastered superluminal travel, by means we can’t yet understand, they aren’t very likely to be concerned about us. At best, we’ll be a subject of curiosity, like a kid’s ant farm. At worst, we will be an annoying nuisance to be swept aside – if they even notice us at all.
Also, it’s far more likely that even if some alien intelligence has noticed us and is looking us over, the aliens themselves won’t show up. What will show up is more likely to be a robotic probe, maybe somehow remotely controlled, maybe controlled by an advanced artificial intelligence. Unlikely that these advanced, intelligent beings would choose to expose their squishy bodies to the harsh rigors of interstellar space if there was any other option.
But hey. If I’m wrong, if intelligent aliens really are about to land on Earth, that will be fascinating – and it may not end up so well for us. And if any aliens land on my front yard and demand “Take me to your leader,” I’m taking them to Gary Busey. But I retain my prediction noted above: Nothing much will come of this.
Border czar Tom “The Hammer” Homan has not yet commented on this latest alien news.
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